Saturday, April 05, 2003

You know who you are

Or not, most likely - there's about a 99.9999% chance you'll never read this blog. But maybe someone who does will get a hint.

No, I'm not an authority on women's beauty. But I know of a few things that women complain about wrt their looks, such as 1) sagging breasts, 2) protruding abdomen, 3) protruding buttocks, and 4) being unfashionably short.

They can help all 4 by merely standing up straight. And they'll look more elegant. And it's better for their spines too. What can be wrong with that?

Stand up straight even if you're tall (that means you too, MM). Tall is in nowadays, and tall and straight is always better than slightly less tall and slouching. It even helps with balance and coordination.

If standing up straight hurts, then you're out of shape. Working on your abs won't hurt a bit, especially with Pilates. Of course I'm not a physician and there could be other underlying issues that make this a bad idea, but if you can't even stand up straight without hurting maybe you ought to see the doctor anyway.

At last, my subject. She's about 19 and is really a doll. She has natural good looks, she takes care of herself and she dresses well, and although at her age she could use less warpaint she used it well too. So apparently she wants to look good and she generally succeeds.

But every time I see her I just want to grab her abs just below the navel from behind, pulling backwards and upwards until she stands up straighter. But however generous an act that might ultimately be, my innocent, paternal, purely esthetic motives might be misinterpreted. Ya think?

One woman told me she might be self-conscious about her bust. If so, she'd do more to hide it by wearing looser clothes and standing up straighter than with the way she dresses now. If she were flat-chested standing straighter would be worth a dozen Wonderbras.

Another woman told me there could be confidence issues. That's not inconceivable, but I have to wonder why. I don't know her too well, so about all I know about is that she's not sure what she wants to do for a permanent career. Sheesh, that's true of most 19 year olds in my experience. If this is an issue, well, sometimes acting the way you want to be can help you become that way.

In the olden days young ladies were taught to stand up straight, even going so far as to have them balance books on their heads. Corsets probably helped too. Such things typically get nothing but snarky comments nowadays, but this is not just about vanity - there really are tangible health benefits associated with good posture

Alright, I'm through venting. We'll see if I figure out a way to bring this up.

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