Earlier today my site was located by a Google query "no dick allowed". I couldn't make stuff like that up.
Matt Drudge told us a severed penis was found at a car wash in Nebraska. More specifically, it was over by the vacuum. I hope that's not relevant.
Several years ago a guy caught his penis in the inlet to a swimming pool's skimmer pump at a motel in Florida. Reportedly it was an accident.
Don't get too cocky, ladies. You may be exempt from the above, but you too must at all costs avoid sitting on a gerbil.
Happy Valentine's Day.