Thursday, April 15, 2004

If I don't publish this, who will?

Ya know, we men have been under fire by feminists for a long time as oppressors. And there are biologists who suggest that the male of the species is nothing but an adaptation toward warding off parasites - we exist to protect women genetically. Gosh, I sure feel special.

Even the Bible talks about using us guys for spare parts. You know, that rib thing (ouch! - didn't Adam have any zits or moles or hemorrhoids to work with instead?)

But wait a minute - men and women have the same number of ribs. Hmm, how to square this with Genesis? I've got it! - human males don't have a baculum, so that must be what was used!

What's a baculum? Beth, my source for biological esoterica, shows us an example here.

Scale this up to the size of the bull and entirely new products become practical. Consider the canes offered here - as noted, "the bulls don't give these up without a fight". Or if you prefer, there's a "pizzle putter", or "saco de toro", or this whip.

Fortunately we humans (even Skoptzies) are largely exempt from supplying raw materials for such products. Not even for circumcision trimmings. (Although I have heard it alleged that that's why rabbis are wealthier than priests - the rabbis get to keep the tips. But to my knowledge no one has turned these into commercial products, notwithstanding a story about a wallet made of foreskins which turned into a suitcase when you rubbed it).

Not that circumcision should be taken that lightly. It's possible to foul it up, and the results are horrible as documented here. Other related issues are discussed here.

Back to that baculum thing. Do other primates have them? Why or why not? Does this tell us anything about evolution?

Yes, I have a day job. No, I'm not a writer.

No comments: