You ask the bartender for a shotglass of water. Take out that unused condom from your wallet and unroll it. Now you drop 1/4 "Alkaseltzer" tablet into the glass and stretch the open end of the condom over the glass. Watch in glory as it will slowly achieve an erection, and bring laughter to most who see it.A shot glass? Think bigger. I saw a demo on TV once in which a guy stretched a condom over his skull clear down to his upper lip, then proceeded to inflate it by exhaling through his nose.
If you want more excitement, you drop in a whole Alkaseltzer. After reaching full erection, it will continue to build pressure until it flies off the glass and around the room. It will sure make people duck. Nobody wants to be hit in the face by a high flying, wet condom.
I understand they're great for keeping dirt out of guns too.
Feel free to contribute further more condom uses. Then maybe we can build demand to the point where the creeps who market them will quit claiming you can trust them for birth control and/or disease prevention.