Wednesday, December 11, 2002

Over the top songs

Alright, I can tolerate some cutesiness, schmaltz or tearjerking in a song, but some of them really jump the shark. Here are a few nominations.

One rich source is fathers singing about daughters. "White on White" is Daddy singing about daughter's wedding day, and "Butterfly Kisses" is a father recognizing his daughter is growing up. (Warning - Christian Content! - do not open in a government building or other public place lest you should destroy the wall between church and state).

A college buddy hated "I Will Be in Love With You", by James Taylor's younger brother Livingston - never mind what he used to say about it. For me it was "Sometimes When We Touch" by Dan Hill - I just want to throw a bucket of cold water on the guy. (I can't believe this - they just played it on TV in an ad with a girl and a lizard).

Then there's pathos spread with a trowel, like with the early 60's dead teenager songs. In "Teen Angel", the girl is killed when she returns to the car stalled on the railroad tracks to get her boyfriend's ring - it was written as a spoof and wound up as a hit. In "Tell Laura I Love Her" the guy is killed in a race trying to win some money for a gift for his girl. Then there was that poor girl "Patches" that they fished out of the river - who is not to be confused with "Patches" the son of a sharecropper who had to support his family at age 13. I thought there was another one where "the water ran red" or something like it - that time they should have really jumped the shark.

Bobby Vinton had a rough time - "Blue on Blue" was about a breakup and "Mr. Lonely" was a homesick soldier. Bobby Goldsboro sang of a lost wife with "Honey". Sing if you want to, guys, but IMO these pile it on too thick.

In the cutesy-poo category it helps to sing about kids. Bobby Goldsboro strikes again with "Watching Scotty Grow". Clint Holmes has "Playground in My Mind". I'm sure there are more, but I don't want to think about them.

Here is another set of selections. Or if you like annoying songs, look here.

Ha - now I've reminded you of all of these songs (if you'll admit to knowing them - they'll date you). The only way to get even is to make some counterproposals in the comments.

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