MisManners

I had an older relative who was fussy about manners. She would visit once in a while and I would be on pins and needles wondering what else I was doing wrong. Little did I know I could have used a dozen more like her.

Hey, we men have always been animals. Some of us believe that whenever civilization happens, it's because some women put their pretty little feet down. But women in particular, outside the South, seem to have lost most of their manners. Some of the younger ones are appalling.

I don't mean which fork goes with the salad - we're talking basics here. For instance, if you're wearing jeans there are still some ways you probably shouldn't sit, unless you want us to think your herpes is in bloom.

And if you're in a short skirt there are fewer options yet, I don't care how much you spent at Victoria's Secret. Or on depilation - I read somewhere that Hillary Clinton once caught an impromptu exhibition and issued a memo instructing White House staff to wear panties at work.

Never mind the conflict of interest - if a man points out such things he's likely to be accused of harassment just for acknowledging it. Where are the women?