Thursday, February 10, 2005

Stupid parrot tricks

We've all heard parrot jokes by now. Wife buys parrot that used to belong to a cathouse and when hubby gets home it greets him by name. Husband buys parrot that speaks 12 languages and has it shipped home, wife cooks it, hubby laments about the bird's talent, wife asks "then why didn't he speak up?" And lately there's been a beer commercial with one ("She's irritating, but I'm desperate")

So I wondered what parrots would say if they hung around with various celebrities or TV shows. Say, Bill Clinton. Jerry Seinfeld. Jay Leno. Conan O'Brien. John Kerry. The Bushes. Ted Kennedy. Al Sharpton. Dan Rather.

Or maybe bloggers. If you heard a parrot saying "Heh. Indeed" would you know whose it was? How about "Screw them"? I'm sure Wonkette's would have a theme.

Or then what would you teach a celebrity's parrot to say? Like "no thanks, I'll fly" for Ted Kennedy's. Or "Arrgghh" for Howard Dean's. Or you could teach Ashlee Simpson's how to sing...

Quick - help rescue this post and make suggestions in the comments!

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