Monday, December 27, 2004

For better or for worse but not forebearance

It's not too newsworthy to say that professional athletes are a horny lot. Here's a bit of a history.

But not every player's wife takes this infidelity lying down. Consider Anna Benson, a model/ex-stripper voted "baseball's hottest wife". Her husband, Kris Benson of the Mets, is under notice - on Howard Stern's show she said that if she caught him cheating she would do everybody on his whole team, including coaches, groundskeepers, and bat boys.

This immediately set Eric Raymond's keen analytical mind to work:
Somehere, a coalition of the most unattractive no-hopers in the Mets organization — probably organized by some dude with a beer gut, bad breath, and a bread-dough complexion who harbors a long-simmering lust for the wench — is now organizing a pool with which to engage the foxiest hookers in the Big Apple to waylay her husband. What a pitch! Throw $50 in the kitty and “Baseball’s Hottest Wife” will bang you too!
In other news, Mets merchandise sales tripled...

Admittedly Ms. Benson is sending somewhat of a mixed message about fidelity, but consider this:
When Kris had Tommy John surgery, he couldn’t move his arms for a week. Every time he went to the bathroom, I had to help him. Plus, he couldn’t hold down his pain medication. We were flying home from the hospital and we had to squeeze into the plane’s bathroom together so I could stick suppositories up his ass to keep him from throwing up.
Sounds like true love to me.

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