Wednesday, March 31, 2004

"You want me to touch THAT? Do you know who I am?"

Alright, handshaking can be overdone. Especially by John Kerry. Our poor baby needs some work on his shoulder, and he'll have to lay off of handshaking for a while.

Then again, Bob Dole didn't have a problem shaking hands, and he had to do it backhanded with his one good arm. John McCain didn't have a problem with it, and he had both arms and a shoulder broken while under the kindly care of the Hanoi Hilton. Fellow Democrat Bill Richardson recently set a record by shaking 13,392 hands in an 8 hour period - he stuck his hand in some ice afterwards but otherwise he's still at it.

So what's wrong with John Kerry? Is he a wimp? Is he looking for an excuse to avoid having to touch the commoners? Did he sustain injuries when he fell on his skinny behind while skiboarding (he doesn't fall down, you know - it was some "son of a bitch" from the Secret Service who was at fault). Or did he hurt it patting himself on the back? (did you know he'd been to Vietnam?)

No, the story is that he did it bracing himself for an abrupt bus stop while campaigning in Iowa in January. It is not reported whether anyone else was hurt. I guess it's too much to ask of a patrician like Kerry to know how to ride on a bus without hurting himself - perhaps he was too busy arguing that that President Bush was "out of touch".

Enough. Stay tuned to see if Kerry can stay in one piece until the elections.

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