Wednesday, August 28, 2002

For frustrated baseball fans...

The players really might strike again to advance the cause of proletarians everywhere. And if they do, all you fans who swore you'd never watch again are going to need a new sports fix. Leave it to NWA to guide you to the wonderful world of alternative sports.

How about donkey baseball? mud volleyball? Or for the ladies, jello wrestling (rated PG-work).

I saw something new on Saturday - Slamball. This loosely resembles basketball, but there are four trampolines flush with the court surface at the base of each basket. The result is that everybody can play far above the rim and fouls are spectacular. Just don't bother looking for a court near you.

Here in St. Louis we have "Demolition Ball". It's a trip - two teams in bumper cars catching and throwing a wiffle ball at a goal using a basketlike contraption. The cars are tricky to steer and drive at first, and don't go real fast, so you'd have to try hard to hurt yourself. It can be a lot of fun for a small group, and what can be wrong with a sport that you play sitting down?

Alas, the killjoys of the world are on the march. Animal rights groups are attacking Calaveras County for its frog jumping competitions, and some places have banned dwarf tossing. What's the world coming to?

And who needs baseball anyway? - pro football starts in a week. Go Bears, Chiefs, Colts and Rams!

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