Wednesday, July 31, 2002

He just won't go away

If Bill Clinton won't go away, then he still deserves a good cussing. And this should continue until his last defender curls up and dies of shame. The only question is where to start.

Now suppose you're in the White House surrounded at every turn. Your finances are subjected to downright proctological examination. You're living high at govt expense, so you really don't need to spend any of your own money anyway. You're known as an enthusiastic drug user who would screw a snake in a sandstorm, and you're married to a woman who couldn't get laid on Death Row with a pardon in each hand. You can and will reduce White House security and background checking as needed to let in anyone you want. Under these circumstances, what would be the best things for influence peddlers to offer you?

Sex and drugs of course. There's no audit trail except possibly in your medical records, and you don't have to release those. It doesn't take long to use the drugs, so you're not likely to be caught in the act, and who's going to give you a drug test? You can always claim that the sex was other than commercial, and you're not pro-choice for nothing. And with a quick BJ you don't even have to hang up the phone. "Sorry Yassir, the Jews lined me up with this chubby chick, but you can have this cigar".

It's not as if using sex and drugs for bribery is unprecedented. And don't forget extortion too, whether in cash or espionage. Good grief, the guy had the entire federal investigation apparatus at his command, and he wasn't squeamish about using it - if he just couldn't contain himself, couldn't he have shown a bit of discretion and at least screen them a little?

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